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I was scrolling through photos and videos on my husbands phone on our drive down south this summer and came across some photos and videos from the days after Kellan and Elijah were born. I always forget how sick I looked (was) when the boys were born. I also still have a very hard time realizing just how ill I really was. 


It wasn’t until I watched an episode of #greysanatomy where a seemingly healthy mother went into labour and aside from an elevated heart rate didn’t seem to have anything wrong with her. She ended up dying in the show and although it was “just a show” it was the first time in over a year that it hit me just how insane and scary having HELLP Syndrome really was. 


At 5am on February 12, 2017 at exactly 33 weeks gestation with our identical IVF MoDi Twins I woke up needing to pee. This was of course a very normal thing in my pregnancy with two little beings bouncing around my insides. I went to the washroom and noticed a slight greenish tinge on the toilet paper (sorry for the over share). When I stood up I realized there was fluid running down my legs and pooling on the floor. Somehow I remained calm, and gathered a few items and put some mascara on before waking my husband by saying “Derek, don’t freak out but I think my water broke” of course he freaked out, jumped out of bed and started trying to make sense of what was going on in a sleepy adrenaline rushed state.