My journey with infertility actually begins when I was around 15 years old when I started my period. I started late, and have never had a regular a cycle. My mom took me to see an OB after I went 9 months without having a period and we were told not to worry about it. I was prescribed progesterone to induce a cycle, and told to come back when I was ready to have a baby.
Fast forward to December 2019. I was married to an amazing man and we decided we were read at to try for a baby. I went back to that same OB who told me to stop taking my birth control and start taking a prenatal vitamin. No ultrasound, no effort to look into my irregular cycles at all, even knowing that there is a history of PCOS in my family.
The next few months were some of the darkest of my life. I had a strong feeling that we would likely need help getting pregnant, and as my cycles started to get longer and longer, my desperation and fears increased. I was so obsessed with becoming pregnant that I forgot who I was. Every negative test was a knife in my heart, and periods were even worse.
After about 5 months of this, we decided something needed to change. We decided to go back to the doctor and ask for some help, and I decided to do things on my own to help my mental health. I started getting serious about health and fitness and tried to get back to the person I was before trying to conceive had taken over my life.
To make a long story short, we went on to do four rounds of Clomid (during which I never ovulated) with my OB and then went to see a specialist. It was at this point that I was finally diagnosed with PCOS and we went through lots of testing and a timed intercourse cycle on Femara with a trigger shot. That was in February 2021 and we haven’t done any treatment since.
I’ve spent the last year working on me. Doing things to help me develop into a better person and a better future mother. I have found so much joy in life again and I’m so proud to say that I feel that my happiness no longer depends on having children. I’ve discovered ways to feel joy and contentment with my life exactly the way it is, and have become so much stronger in so many ways. I feel so much better prepared to be a mother, and we’ve made the decision to pursue treatment with a NaPro specialist this month.
I now live with the hope that our time to become parents is coming soon, and the knowledge that even if it doesn’t, I can still find joy in the journey and the life that I am living now 💗
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